Soccer - America’s Path To Socialism

I knew it, I knew soccer was the work of the devil. Christ, they don’t even wear pads and what sort of godless game ends in a draw? The game of Beelzebub, that’s what. First they came for our sports, and we did not speak out. Well they will not take our freedom, those communist freaks! This man makes even more sense than Glenn Beck. Truly he is a prophet. And we will all profit. Cut off your arms, yo.