Posts from ‘January, 2011’

This is as bad as seeing a high-speed train whizz past you and for you to then point excitedly at it and remark, ‘Look everybody, the INTERNET!”

Remember the old urban myth about what happens if you swallow a Mentos mint and then drink coca-cola? Well, here is final proof of how dangerous that is. Also kids, if you swallow chewing gum it’ll end up wrapped around your lower intestine and you’ll die.

When I go on holiday, my holiday snaps are usually blurred, sun-spotted, ill-lit images of sitting at a bar, or out of focus landmarks taken from the same angle you see it in every postcard. This video brings shame on us all.

Don’t fancy reading the first part of Dante’s 14th century epic poem Divine Comedy. Fair enough, you’ve got better things to do like play Farmville, right? Course, course. Don’t worry, the internet’s come through yet again and provided us all with an abridged version. With funny drawings. Yay!

It gets us all in the end. First it came for our pets, and we stood aside and watched. Then it came for our children and we let it consume them. Now it’s come for our voters. To the battle stations!!

Jules and Vincent should never, ever get into a staring competition. They’re lucky the world didn’t eat itself.

What is this, some form of witchcraft? Otherwise why would you not need glasses, it’s not like our world is in 3D or anything. No wait, hang on…

Trolling a 48 year old pedo is the epitome of online activity, at least it was 10 years ago. But now it’s all about trolling the US government by releasing shit loads of their diplomatic cables where they make acute and funny observations about world leaders. But I digress.

We need to go deeper. The casserole dish needs to be deeper, the imaginings of a life never lived are spilling out the sides…

Ewww. After watching this guy you’ll feel like you need to clear your browser history and then dump your computer in a lake. Creepy barely describes the guy’s hair let alone what he talks about.

And this, ladies, gentlemen, and Republicans, is what makes the internet so great. Sarah Palin’s “libel blood” speech, minus the speech, and just her breath instead.

Good news for lovers of autonomous dead sci-fi novelists, Mr Dick’s head has been rebuilt so his android self can live to freak us all out another day.

There’s nothing strange about that, right? It happens all the time round our house, we have about 50 little Dannys running around. Bless ‘em.

OK, so this is like half hour long, but so what, it’s Quentin Tarantino’s first movie. It has all the hallmarks that we’ve come to love or hate; the styles ripped from Scorsese and the French New Wave, and the goddamn muthafucking dialogue muthafucker.

Termination? Surely this guy’s due a promotion. After all he’s Rick James, bitch.

Let’s hope this gets taught in schools.